I read an interview with Seth Godin on the copyblogger site where Seth said that Opening doors for people who will open doors for people was his greatest success in life. I really hope to be able to say that someday. That will be on my goal list.

What is something that has been added to your goal list lately?

How does a high jumper know how high he can jump?  He keeps moving the bar up until he knocks it down.  Knocking that bar down is technically a failure.  He did not succeed in the goal he had of clearing that bar.

I have two boys.  They are 7 and 5.  I love them dearly, but they are not great basketball players.  My oldest, Brady (check out his website here) looks so awkward when he shoots it makes me laugh every time!  Now, I know he still have a lot to learn, but could I save him a lot of time and energy by telling him to stop playing now?  I hope you are thinking right about now that the logic I just typed is crazy.  Of course it is crazy.  You would never tell a child anything other than, “Keep practicing, you’ll get better!”

Why are you any different?  It is time to take some of your own advise.  Realize that the best were not the best when they started.  They kept practicing.  They got better everyday.  You will too.  There is nothing to fear in failure.  We have all been there, and hopefully will keep going there.  You will never know how great you can be until you raise that bar higher.

One way I try to ignore the fear of failure is to think what the worst case scenario would be.  Vocalize what the worst case is if you failed at what you are thinking about doing.  Will your family start hating you?  Will God disown you and turn His back on you?  Will you physically die?  The answer to all of those questions is most certainly no.  So, stop being afraid of a potential failure and ship it.

If you have never failed, you have never tried hard enough. (Tweet This)

What is something that you have failed at, that made you better?

I am not perfect.  If you ask my wife, I may act like it sometimes.  In fact, even though I know it is absurd, I may think it sometimes.

The problem with believing the lie of perfection is that it breeds procrastination.  It causes me to delay putting the work out there that I know I need to be putting out there.  Those delays often turn into never shipping the work at all.

Here are a few points I remember when I am trying to ignore the lie of perfection:

1. Nobody is perfect.  Nobody who has ever been on this earth (besides Jesus Himself) is perfect.  There is no reason to try to reach utter perfection because it is a destination that will not be reached.  I know some people will say that this is a dangerous mind-set to have, and it may not work for you.  For me, however, I find it a necessary ingredient to ship my work.
   
2. The goal is not finished.  The other end of the perfect line is finished.  I have to be careful of just pushing so hard that all I want to do is get finished.  Pushing just to get finished makes me get sloppy.  I do not want to ship slop.
3. Awesome is where I need to be.  Awesome is the point of the line where I strive to be.  I know that it not perfect, but I also realize it is not just finished.  It is awesome.  It is something that can be appreciated by the people I am shipping my work to.  It informs, inspires, and adds insight.  It is the best that I have, but it is not bogged down by trying to reach perfection.
4. Do NOT over think, ship.  With everything above in mind I remind myself to not over think the revisions.  There are times when I can spend so much time tweaking that I end up spinning my wheels only to come back to the original.  When I find myself having to search for things to change, I just ship it.  There are very few things in this world that can not be touched up after shipping.  Chances are you will find out that the work you have already done is exactly what your audience is looking for.

Do not believe the lie of perfection.  Doors that are open have a lot more people walk through them than doors that are locked.

What does the lie of perfection do to you?

There are some things that I am good at.  There are other things that I am bad at.  There are still other things that are just total time wasters.  So, why do I find myself doing time wasting things and things that I am really bad at all the time?

1. It is the most convenient thing to do.  Usually I find myself doing things that are time wasters because it is convenient.  It’s there, right next to me, calling my name, “Stephen, look at Facebook.”  I guess I should stop carrying my phone with me everywhere I go!?!
2. It is the way we are programmed.  From our youth we are told over and over to spend most of our time improving on the things we don’t do as well.  If you get a “C” in math and an “A” in Creative Writing the first thing you hear is, “WHY DID YOU GET A “C” in Math?!  Now don’t get me wrong, Math is important.  You should definitely apply yourself to do your best in everything you do.  Sometimes, however, I think it is best to take the things that we are good at, and continue to strengthen them.
3. We are afraid to be good.  I enjoy doing good projects and being recognized for it.  The thing about doing good is that it sets expectations.  It makes people expect your good to become better and your better to become best.  At some point we become afraid that we can’t meet other people’s expectations.  I heard a quote the other day, “Today’s expectations are tomorrow’s resentment”.  I disagree with that.  There is a difference between expectations and being over bearing.  Without expectations, whether on ourself or from others, we will never stretch and get better.  It is not the fault of those who have expectations of us when we fail.  Besides you only fail when you quit.

Now that I have covered some of the reasons why you do not do what you are best at, I have a challenge.

• Write the one or two things that you are best at and love to do.  It does not matter what it is.  Whether it is writing, helping others, playing piano, teaching, auto mechanics, or cleaning carpet; write it down.
• Write the reasons why you are not doing those things.
• Leave a comment on this blog, call your mom, brother, best friend, or anyone that can contact you and make a commitment to them.  Commit that you will eliminate the reasons you are not doing what you love and are best at one at time, every week until all of your excuses are gone.

Do you ever wonder why people do not understand what you are saying? Why the people you speak to do not move in the direction that is clearly best for them? Why your children seemingly ignore your wishes? One problem could be that you are not wearing your “audience goggles.”

Ok, so maybe you can’t go to Walmart and buy a pair of audience goggles. However, realizing the need to see things through the eyes of the people you are communicating to is important. It does not matter whether you are a marketer looking for a consumer or a mother teaching your child.

As cheesy as it may be, 99.9% of the people you meet listen to their favorite radio station “Wii fm” (What’s In It For Me?).  It does not always mean that they are being selfish, it is just the way humans are wired.  We are born with the instinct to think of ourselves first.

Very often we try to communicate reasons why we want people to do things.  In actuality we end up telling people why WE want them to do it.  The best way to communicate effectively is to tell them why THEY will want to do it.  I can tell my five-year old boy all day long that I want him to clean his room because I’m tired of looking at the mess, but that won’t really work.  He ultimately does not care what I am tire of.  What he really needs to hear is that HE should want to clean his room because once he is finished, we can go outside and play football.

Many businesses have the same problem.  A photographer may tell people he takes pictures.  While that is true, is that why his client hires him?  No, they hire him because they want to remember that particular event their whole lives, and be able to pass those memories on to future generations.

Anytime you are trying to convey a message to someone, try to look through the eyes of the person you are trying to reach.

It has been said that a mouse only has two thoughts: Avoid cats and get cheese.  I do not really know if that is true since I have never studied mice.  It sounds about right, so I will go with it.  Getting cheese is an important thing to a mouse.  If the mouse operated under the fear of the cat only though, he would never get any cheese.  He would not leave his home.  He would starve to death.  He realizes however, that in order to obtain the cheese he so rightly desires, he has to shift out of the fear mindset.

 Via Aaron Levy

The way I see it there are three basic ways to stop operating under fear.  Only after you have shifted out of the fear gear can you pursue your goals.

1. Acknowledge that the fear is real.  We all have fears.  I do not always like to admit it, especially around my wife or kids, but it is true.  If you ignore the fear or act like it does not exist, you will likely be paralyzed by it.
2. Realize that fear is not the best way.  Fear can be a motivating factor in getting started.  It can motivate you to move forward.  The problem is that fear only motivates you to survive.  If it does not change forms into something more motivating, you will likely not take the leap forward to success.  Do not get stuck in survival mode.
3. Change the way you think.  It is not always easy to change your thinking, but it is necessary for success.  We spend a good deal of our lives being limited.  We are constantly being told that we can not do something.  Through all of this, it is important to stay positive.  I am often tempted to say things over and over to myself like, “I will not operate under fear.”  While that does not seem all that bad, it is not all that good.  It would be the same as saying, “Don’t think of a pink elephant wearing giant glasses.”  What are you thinking of?  Did the picture in your mind resemble the picture above?  I bet it did.  Instead, I think the saying should be, “I am going to operate out of abundance.”

What do you fear?  How can you change your thinking and speech to avoid operating under fear?