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You Are the Reason

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Personal Responsibility is a hot topic these days.  It does not matter what side of the political fence you are on, everyone wants other people to be more accountable to themselves.  By very definition, this is the wrong way to look it.  The easiest faults to see in others are gaps in integrity.  The truth is that you can only change yourself, no matter how hard you try to change others.

So, why should you want to be more personally responsible?  I have two reasons why I want to take more responsibility in my life.

  1. My irresponsibility will eventually become someone else’s responsibility.  The government and current welfare system is a great example of this fact.  There are people out there that really need some short-term help to get on their feet.  There are others that require a lifetime of help due to illness, injury, or another long-term issue.  However, there are many people out there that just enjoy sitting at home without a job taking advantage of a system that can not possibly police itself.  When someone fails to pull their own weight, someone else has to pay the way for them.  I do not want for my responsibilities to fall onto someone else.
  2. I know that we are all designed for greatness.  Every single one us are made to do great things.  It is why we were created, why we are drawn to movies about super heroes, why we read books where the underdog wins over the better equipped.  We want to be someone’s hero.  We ARE designed to be better than we can imagine.

“Everybody is a genius.  But, if you judge a fish by his ability climb a tree, it’ll spend its whole life believing it is stupid.”

– Albert Einstein

Personal Responsibility begins with finding the right answers.  The right answers can not be found without first asking the right questions.  In my opinion there are is only one good question:  HOW (or what) can I (or other personal pronoun) ACTION VERB to IMPROVE (whatever your subject matter is)?  If you ask questions that start with why, when or who it zaps your ability to do what needs to be done.

It is much easier to wonder when someone else will do something to help your situation than it is to get up and do something for your self.  I want to make sure everyday I get to be on this earth, I do the best I can to acknowledge that I am where I am because of what I do, and only I can change that.

In light of this post, I guess the title should be: I am the reason.

What can I do to make my life better?

Why You THINK You Are Not Good Enough

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It is very exciting when you come across something that you really love.  Something that you have passion for.  Something that gets you excited when you wake up in the morning.  It is even more exciting when you get the opportunity to do that thing for a living.

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The problem for many people is they do not take the opportunity to do their passion for their career.  They do not take the opportunity because they believe they are not good enough.  There are many reasons why people do not think they are good enough.  Sometimes it is because that is what their peers have told them.  Parents and loved ones can deliver serious blows to your ego.  The possibilities could go on an on.

The issue that has hindered me the most in my life is comparing myself to the other people I see.  The fact is that when you really enjoy something you surround yourself with it.  Growing up I always loved playing soccer.  I still love playing soccer.  I also like watching soccer.  Now unless my kids are playing I do not stop at the local park and watch 8 year olds play soccer.  I watch the world cup, major league soccer, or college soccer.

When you love something, you surround yourself with the best of it.  People who like music listen to the top musicians.  People love to paint look at the paintings of the best painters in the world.  Chances are that you are comparing yourself to someone in the top 1% of your passion.  What you are forgetting is that you know more about your passion than most of the world.  You are better than the other 99%.

It is good to keep your eyes on the best.  It is good to know what the best are doing.  It is good to have goals that stretch you.  It is NOT good to allow your eyes on the best to paralyze you into doing nothing.

Now that you know you are good enough, what are the ways that you ARE good enough?

Are You in Beta Testing?

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Beta testing is when a piece of software or a website is launched, but is still under testing.  If you are reading this blog, you have been launched.  So, the question that remains is: Are you under testing?

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It is pretty safe to say that you are always under testing.  Life has a way of making sure that there are always hardships in our lives.  Everybody you meet is going through some sort of difficulty.  (It would help us all to remember that the next time someone cuts you off on the highway.)  How you deal with the testing is the key.

Beta testing does not help if nobody knows about the beta testing.  The main key to a successful beta test is for the people using the product to provide feedback.  You must acknowledge the fact that you are in beta testing, or nobody will give you feedback.  I was in a class the other day where we were talking about personal improvement.  I asked the question if they were still doing things to increase their learning.  One guy told me that he had already been through school and that his education was over.  I could not believe that someone actually had that mind-set.  How can you ever make a better you, if you are not acknowledging the fact that there is room for improvement?

Beta testing requires you to listen and respond.  It will not profit you one little bit if you launch the beta version, acknowledge you are in beta testing, and then fuse to listen and respond to the lessons being taught.  If there is a glitch in your website that keeps people from buying your product, you want to know about it.  Once you find out, I would suggest fixing it immediately.  It is not always easy to hear that you messed up, but it is necessary to know.  Once you know, it is even more important to respond to it by adjusting and fixing the issue.

Beta testing should be a life long process.  The apps on my iphone and ipad update constantly.  Sometimes it takes longer than I want.  Sometimes the ‘improvements’ are not that much help.  Other times the new version has better features, is easier to use, functions faster, and is just better over all.  The key is that they are working to be better.  If you are not moving forward, you are moving backward.

Are you in beta testing?  Do you acknowledge your need for beta testing?

Thermostat or Thermometer?

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In my kitchen, I have an old thermometer. It looks like it is a hundred years old (the picture below is it). It is definitely useful. I like to know what the temperature is.

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Also, in my house I have a thermostat. It is more useful to me. It not only tells me the temperature, it regulates it.

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So which are you, a thermostat or a thermometer?

A thermometer is always ready to tell you what is wrong. It shrieks out with its vivid red to tell you just how hot or cold it is. The issue is that it stops there. It does not give you suggestions on how to change things. It does not care if you try to make things better or not. It just gives the facts.

I have been a thermometer too many times in my life. I do not have any issues with telling people how they are wrong. I am happy to point out all of the problems there are with their ideas. It is definitely much easier to be a critic than it is to be a creator. What the world needs more of is NOT critics. The world needs more thermostats.

A thermostat, which is about the same size as a thermometer, is wired to give direction. It leads other devices in regulating the temperature in an area. It tells the furnace to pump out heat because it is too cold. It delegates authority to the air conditioner to cool the house down.

The next time you see a problem or an issue, remember these pictures. Are you going to just complain about the problem? Are you going to yell at the top of your lungs to alert everyone who can see you what the issue is? I think it will be much more profitable to come up with a solution. Sometimes you may be able to solve the problem yourself. Sometimes you may need to seek counsel for help. Other times you may be able to delegate the solution to a competent person around you.

The key is that you are willing to implement the change necessary.

What are some ways you can be a thermostat?

 

 

I’m Smarter Than That Guy!

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Successful people only use common sense principles to obtain their success. I have heard it a million times. In fact, I have said it a few times myself. “There is no way that guy is successful, I’m smarter than him.

Common Knowledge Café

I heard Ivan Misner say, “Success in the uncommon application of common knowledge.” I have found that to be true in recent years. I used to think there is no way I could <insert anything you want to do in here>. The truth is, I can do most anything I want to do. You can too. All it takes is applying the basic principles that even my seven year old knows.

That sounds so easy. I know there are still going to be obstacles. There are still going to be times where it may seem impossible. It is easier to be critical than successful. However, in just a few easy steps, you can accomplish most anything you want.

  1. Break down the task into several easy steps. I had a goal to have a blog. It seemed to be impossible to do, because I wanted it to be as good as Michael Hyatt’s blog. What I did not realize at first was that Michael Hyatt’s blog was not as good when he started it, as it is now. So I broke the process down into easy to accomplish tasks. (buy a domain, set up a blue host account, install wordpress, create a wordpress account, and start writing stuff)
  2. Do NOT fear failure. “Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.” It is the ultimate goal to do things great, but the first time you do anything it will be bad. Just look at a child learning to walk for the first time. That kid is going to fall, a lot.
  3. Schedule time. The only things that will get done in your day, are things that are scheduled. If you do not set time aside to do the things you need to do, you will end up watching a marathon of The Mentalist on TV. (I may have done this one before?!) It doesn’t matter how much time you have. Use what you have to the fullest. You will not regret it.
  4. DO IT! Nike has this part right. Now it is time to just start knocking things off the task list. Do one task at a time. Only think in long range goals during the planning process. Once you move to the DO IT! stage, just think in terms of getting the next thing done.

Everyday, I am making a conscience effort to move forward, and get better. I want you to do the same thing. I know that the goals that you have, can be accomplished. Now get out there and DO IT!

Have you ever thought you were smarter than successful people? What are the things that they do that you should be doing?

How Many Loaves and Fishes Do You Have?

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This headline comes from a lesson in the Bible commonly referred to as the feeding of the five thousand. In this story, a small boy from the crowd offers his five loaves and two small fishes to Jesus so that the five thousand plus people who were there could eat.

Cinco pães e dois peixes

It sounds pretty impossible. In our own power, it maybe. However this young lad displayed several attributes that made it possible for his small amount of food to be used of God to help thousands of people.  Here are five attributes that this boy showed, that we can all learn from.

  1. Be Prepared  There were five thousand men present at this teaching.  That did not count the women and children.  Out of all of these people present, only this boy had food to eat.  It is so important for us to be prepared.  One of the best ways to be prepared is to be educated.  There are so many ways to learn today it is crazy.  Information can be found on websites, through blogs, podcasts, ebooks, audio books, actual paper books (WHO KNEW THEY STILL EXISTED?!), and I could go on and on.  There is simply no reason for each one of us to stop learning in this day and age.
  2. Do Not Take What You Have For Granted  If you are like me, the things you do are just the things you do.  You do not always find value in those things.  The boy ONLY had five loaves and two small fishes.  There was NO WAY it would be enough to feed all of those people.  That boy saw the value in what he had.  He realized what he had was important.  I know I need to get better at that.  My guess is that you need to as well.
  3. Speak Up  As the disciples went around to see what food was available, it would have been very easy for the boy to stay silent.  I mean, he was just a boy.  Like I said in point two, he only had a small amount of food.  Fortunately for everyone there, those things did not stop him.  He was not afraid to speak up.  Just like that boy, you need to speak up.  It may be that you see something that nobody else sees.  You might have knowledge on a subject that nobody else knows.
  4. Give It Your All  This boy could have easily kept a couple of loaves for himself.  He could have thought, if I give them all my food, they will give it to others.  I will have nothing for myself!  He did not do that.  He gave everything he had.  You and I need to put everything we have on the table, and not hold anything back.  By holding your best back, all you do is deprive the world of things that could change the world.
  5. Accept The Blessing  Due to the unselfishness of this boy, many people were able to eat until they were full, himself included.  Many people have a difficult accepting blessings.  This boy had no problem eating until he was full.  There is a good chance that he actually ate more than he brought.  It does not have to make sense.  When somebody wants to give you something, be thankful and accept it.

What are some other attributes that this boy showed?  

Why Comfort is NOT a Good Thing

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I do not like to leave my comfort zone.  At the risk of sounding redundant, it makes me uncomfortable.  It does not feel right!  The problem is, I know that leaving my comfort zone is the only way to get better.

When I started my blog, it was a step out of my comfort zone.  In my blog I put my thoughts out there for the world to see.  The scary part is someone might disagree with me.  Somebody may think that I am unoriginal.  People may not read my blog.  All of that does not matter.  No two people, no matter how similar, agree on anything.  There is nothing new under the sun, so of course your ideas will be based on something else you have learned in life.  I do not write my blog exclusively to get people to read it.  I do it for myself, but it is still nice for others to read.

Everything in your life that is worth having came with pain.  Think about it.  If you ever excelled in sports, there were many days of painful practice to get there.  If you have ever lost a significant amount of weight, there was lots of blood, sweat, and tears to get to your goal weight.  For the ladies out there, having a child was likely one of the most painful experiences of your life.  And it did not stop there, did it?  If you have ever made a large purchase, you had to work hard for the cash to buy it.  The list is endless, but the point is true, GROWTH does not occur without some level of pain.

Here are two reasons why I am going to step out of my comfort zone.

  1. To Provide Excitement – When I do the same thing over and over and over I may get a little better at that one thing.  I will not stay interested though.  I will get bored.  I want to get out of bed everyday excited to experience something that I did not have the chance to experience yesterday.
  2. To Make Myself Better – If I am not willing to try new things, I will never learn anything new.  And when you stop learning, you start dying.  I had an old guy I used to work with say he was never going to retire because people who retire die.  I know what he was saying, and for him if he was not at work, he would stop learning.  That would ultimately lead to his death.

I am committing now to start advertising my blog more.  I am going to start posting my blog on facebook and twitter.  I am going to put my website blog on my email signature.  I am going to take a bigger step out of my comfort zone because like the top of the page says, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be.”

When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone?  How did it turn out?

The Death of Productivity

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Productivity is defined as the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance, or bring forth goods and services.  (thank you dictionary.com)  I, like most people, enjoy being productive.  Unfortunately, however, it is easy to kill productivity.

Photo Courtesy of Jo Naylor

The death of productivity can be carried out in many different ways.  A few of my favorite ways are:

  • My iphone and ipad.   Just like any tool, it can be used for good or for bad.  I use my i devices for good in many different ways.  I use it to read my Bible, to stay up to date on all of my favorite blogs, to manage my contacts, to keep track of thoughts and future blogs, to manage my appointments (both professionally and personally), to research items of interest, and a score of other good ways.  On the other side of that coin, I look at it too much.  I look at facebook, twitter, other social media apps, play games, and read meaningless email way too much.  I am trying to make an intentional effort to stop doing this and be where I am.
  • Busy work.  I know this one may not seem correct.  I know that most of the time work, even busy work can be productive.  If it needs to be done, it needs to be done.  I often times find myself doing busy work as an excuse to avoid doing something I really should be doing, just to say I am being productive.  In actuality, I am killing productivity by avoiding the things that may be a little more tough, but will bring me to my goals much faster.
  • Perfection.  This is a big one for me.  I have been afraid to do many things through my life, because I knew that it would not be perfect.  I knew there was no way that I could live up to my own expectations.  I had always been taught that anything worth doing is worth doing right.  This statement is true.  However, it doesn’t have to be right the first time.  Think of anything that you are good at.  Got it?  Ok, now think back to the first time you did that activity.  Was it right?  Was it perfect?  I would like to amend the above statement to be, “Anything worth doing, is worth messing up at least once.”  That is the only way people learn, by messing up.  Very few people ever reach perfection in anything.  It is a great goal to have.  ‘Good enough’ is what you need to get started.
There are a lot of other things that kill productivity, but these are my favorites.  My goal is to start down the road to eliminating these productivity killers as quickly as I can.  I am going to start updating this page more consistently.  Since I wrote that down, I have to do it now…
What is killing your productivity?

Behavior Modification

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Behavior modification is not the goal. It is not a goal for myself, for my kids, or for anyone that I teach. It is a necessary step on the way to self-improvement, but not the ultimate goal. My goal as a teacher, writer, and everything else I do is to help bring permanent change.

There are three basic steps to bring permanent change. These steps are true in all aspects of life, including, but not limited to:

  • Financially – How your money gets spent.
  • Spiritually – How you interact with God.
  • Physically – How healthy you are.
  • Socially – How you interact with everyone around you, including your family, friends, co-workers, etc.
  • Emotionally – How you deal with problems.
  • Intellectually – How you learn new things.
    1. Realize you are doing things wrong.  As they say realizing there is a problem is the first step to recovery. If I constantly deny there is a problem, there is no way I can ever correct it.  Usually this is the hardest step.  Many times, I become comfortable in the things I am doing wrong, because that is the way I have always done it.  This is not a valid reason to continue in doing wrong.  I hope that I don’t have to hit rock bottom in any given category to wake me up to a problem.  However this is the case for many people.  A smart person learns from his mistakes, a wise  person learns from other people’s mistakes.
    2. Doing the right things because you have to.  This is the phase that includes behavior modification.  If I run out of money before all my bills are paid, I have no choice but to quit buying some things.  I can make my five-year old son do something that he does not want to do.  I can assert my authority over him to make sure he does not stick a knife in an electrical outlet.  That will work for some time, but eventually he will be in a situation where I will not be there to stop him.  So, unless he moves on to the third step, he may have trouble.  Obviously, this phase is essential.  So, while behavior modification is not the final goal; it is definitely necessary.
    3. Doing right because that is who you are.  The jump from 2 to 3 can be a huge one.  Often times there are a lot of steps in between 2 and 3.  The important thing is to get here.  The goal is to do the right things because you WANT to do the right thing.  It is in your soul.  It is who you are.

I was able to lose quite a bit of weight a few years ago.  I realized one day that if I continued on the road I was on, I could have health issues.  Those health issues could result in my life not being as productive or long as I would like.  So, I decided that I was going to lose weight.  I knew the only way I would lose the weight is if I made myself exercise and eat better.  Over several months, I changed my lifestyle.  Since then, I have changed who I am.   It was a difficult road.  I know that I am a better person for it.

 

What are some things that you know you need to change? What are some ways you can implement those changes?

 

Play the … Pauses

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I saw in a movie recently where a music teacher instructed their student to “play the pauses”. The indication is that the pauses in between the notes are just as important as the notes themselves.  In everyday life, just like in music, the down times are just as important, if not more important than the events in our lives that keep us busy.

In my life I have identified these three areas where I try to ‘play the pauses’.

  1. Family – I love going to professional sports games (GO REDS!), Amusement Parks (King’s Island is the best!), my kids games (PRF Panthers RULE!), and many other events with my family.  However, some of the best conversations and interactions are in the Jeep, at dinner, or at bedtime while I check on (make sure the boogie man is not there) the kids.  The time in between all the EVENTS of life are often the most memorable.  I think it is imperative to focus on these times and make the most of them.
  2. Prayer – I don’t know about you, but I often find myself reciting these long, rambling narrative prayers.  I just recite the laundry list of items that are bothering me.  In order to get the guidance that I need from the Lord, I have to make a conscience decision to pause.  I want to make sure I give the Lord the opportunity to speak to me.  If all I do is talk, I can’t listen.  The Bible says, “Be still, and know that I am God:” Psalm 46:10a.  I need to be still and listen to the message that the Lord has for me.
  3. Socially – It has often been said that there is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth.  I want to create meaningful relationships with the people I meet.  I have to be willing to listen twice as much as I talk.  I want to be in a position to help and teach others.  It is true that people don’t care how much I know, until they know how much I care.  If all I do is talk and not listen, it might show how much I care, but only about MYSELF.
Time Management is a big point of conversation these days.  It seems the more technology we have to make our lives “easier”, the more we add to our lives.  The truth is time will not be managed.  I am not able to guide time, tell it where to go, or what to do.  Time is a constant that will not change.  The best I can do is to manage myself and how I use my time.  If I don’t actively choose to “Play the Pauses”, I will rush through life and miss some of the best things in life.
Do you “play the pauses”?  What are some areas in your life where it is important to “play the pauses”?