Stephen T. Knox's Blog

You are here: Home / Archives for Stephen

The Death of Productivity

by

Productivity is defined as the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance, or bring forth goods and services.  (thank you dictionary.com)  I, like most people, enjoy being productive.  Unfortunately, however, it is easy to kill productivity.

Photo Courtesy of Jo Naylor

The death of productivity can be carried out in many different ways.  A few of my favorite ways are:

  • My iphone and ipad.   Just like any tool, it can be used for good or for bad.  I use my i devices for good in many different ways.  I use it to read my Bible, to stay up to date on all of my favorite blogs, to manage my contacts, to keep track of thoughts and future blogs, to manage my appointments (both professionally and personally), to research items of interest, and a score of other good ways.  On the other side of that coin, I look at it too much.  I look at facebook, twitter, other social media apps, play games, and read meaningless email way too much.  I am trying to make an intentional effort to stop doing this and be where I am.
  • Busy work.  I know this one may not seem correct.  I know that most of the time work, even busy work can be productive.  If it needs to be done, it needs to be done.  I often times find myself doing busy work as an excuse to avoid doing something I really should be doing, just to say I am being productive.  In actuality, I am killing productivity by avoiding the things that may be a little more tough, but will bring me to my goals much faster.
  • Perfection.  This is a big one for me.  I have been afraid to do many things through my life, because I knew that it would not be perfect.  I knew there was no way that I could live up to my own expectations.  I had always been taught that anything worth doing is worth doing right.  This statement is true.  However, it doesn’t have to be right the first time.  Think of anything that you are good at.  Got it?  Ok, now think back to the first time you did that activity.  Was it right?  Was it perfect?  I would like to amend the above statement to be, “Anything worth doing, is worth messing up at least once.”  That is the only way people learn, by messing up.  Very few people ever reach perfection in anything.  It is a great goal to have.  ‘Good enough’ is what you need to get started.
There are a lot of other things that kill productivity, but these are my favorites.  My goal is to start down the road to eliminating these productivity killers as quickly as I can.  I am going to start updating this page more consistently.  Since I wrote that down, I have to do it now…
What is killing your productivity?

Behavior Modification

by

Behavior modification is not the goal. It is not a goal for myself, for my kids, or for anyone that I teach. It is a necessary step on the way to self-improvement, but not the ultimate goal. My goal as a teacher, writer, and everything else I do is to help bring permanent change.

There are three basic steps to bring permanent change. These steps are true in all aspects of life, including, but not limited to:

  • Financially – How your money gets spent.
  • Spiritually – How you interact with God.
  • Physically – How healthy you are.
  • Socially – How you interact with everyone around you, including your family, friends, co-workers, etc.
  • Emotionally – How you deal with problems.
  • Intellectually – How you learn new things.
    1. Realize you are doing things wrong.  As they say realizing there is a problem is the first step to recovery. If I constantly deny there is a problem, there is no way I can ever correct it.  Usually this is the hardest step.  Many times, I become comfortable in the things I am doing wrong, because that is the way I have always done it.  This is not a valid reason to continue in doing wrong.  I hope that I don’t have to hit rock bottom in any given category to wake me up to a problem.  However this is the case for many people.  A smart person learns from his mistakes, a wise  person learns from other people’s mistakes.
    2. Doing the right things because you have to.  This is the phase that includes behavior modification.  If I run out of money before all my bills are paid, I have no choice but to quit buying some things.  I can make my five-year old son do something that he does not want to do.  I can assert my authority over him to make sure he does not stick a knife in an electrical outlet.  That will work for some time, but eventually he will be in a situation where I will not be there to stop him.  So, unless he moves on to the third step, he may have trouble.  Obviously, this phase is essential.  So, while behavior modification is not the final goal; it is definitely necessary.
    3. Doing right because that is who you are.  The jump from 2 to 3 can be a huge one.  Often times there are a lot of steps in between 2 and 3.  The important thing is to get here.  The goal is to do the right things because you WANT to do the right thing.  It is in your soul.  It is who you are.

I was able to lose quite a bit of weight a few years ago.  I realized one day that if I continued on the road I was on, I could have health issues.  Those health issues could result in my life not being as productive or long as I would like.  So, I decided that I was going to lose weight.  I knew the only way I would lose the weight is if I made myself exercise and eat better.  Over several months, I changed my lifestyle.  Since then, I have changed who I am.   It was a difficult road.  I know that I am a better person for it.

 

What are some things that you know you need to change? What are some ways you can implement those changes?

 

Happy TEN Year Anniversary!

by

On July 6, 2012 my wife and I celebrated our TEN year wedding anniversary.  10 years = 3, 650 days = 87, 600 hours = 5, 256, 000 minutes.  I am quite sure it was harder on her than it was on me.  I am a very blessed man.  My wife has been a gift to me from God that I could never have expected.

Over the years, I have tried to learn a few things.  It is a never ending process to improve.  Just like bathing, self improvement must be done daily to work.  I want to make an effort to be a better husband every day.  Here are three things that I try to do as often as possible in becoming a better husband.

  1. Speak well of your wife.  The words you speak are windows to your heart.  It can start innocently enough.  I know at one point I found myself telling co-workers about arguments that my wife and I were having.  Now part of the problem is that I was only telling my half of the story, and she was not there to defend her side.  I didn’t mean any harm by it.  I was just trying to talk out my issues with my friends.  What ended up happening is that I would only tell them about the arguments or issues I was having with my wife.  I did not tell them about all the great things she did for me.  I did not mention how she consistently goes out of her way to make my life better everyday.  Human nature is to complain.  So, at some point some of my coworkers started to think that my wife was not a good person.  At that point I made a conscious effort to stop complaining all the time and start bragging and telling good things about my wife.  I must admit that I still need to work on this, especially when I am with my wife.
  2. Learn the nine words to change your life.  I am sorry.  I was wrong.  Please forgive me.  This is one that I really need to work on.  Without all nine of these words, an apology is not an apology.  I have a tendency to forget the middle three words.  I don’t like to admit that I am wrong.  Unfortunately, if you do not include those middle three words, you might as well just forget all of it.
  3. Listen to your wife.  Easier said than done.  I know.  That is the quest that all men have been seeking to conquer throughout time.  Listening to your wife is more than just letting the words come into your ears.  Listening also includes getting the true meaning behind the words.  All humans need to feel loved, need to feel wanted, need to feel secure, amongst other things.  Listen to what the words mean, and provide for her like you promised in the wedding vows you spoke to her.

I trust that I am a better husband now than I was ten years ago.  I trust that I will be a better husband tomorrow than I am today.

 

What are some ways you have found to make your marriage stronger?

Play the … Pauses

by

I saw in a movie recently where a music teacher instructed their student to “play the pauses”. The indication is that the pauses in between the notes are just as important as the notes themselves.  In everyday life, just like in music, the down times are just as important, if not more important than the events in our lives that keep us busy.

In my life I have identified these three areas where I try to ‘play the pauses’.

  1. Family – I love going to professional sports games (GO REDS!), Amusement Parks (King’s Island is the best!), my kids games (PRF Panthers RULE!), and many other events with my family.  However, some of the best conversations and interactions are in the Jeep, at dinner, or at bedtime while I check on (make sure the boogie man is not there) the kids.  The time in between all the EVENTS of life are often the most memorable.  I think it is imperative to focus on these times and make the most of them.
  2. Prayer – I don’t know about you, but I often find myself reciting these long, rambling narrative prayers.  I just recite the laundry list of items that are bothering me.  In order to get the guidance that I need from the Lord, I have to make a conscience decision to pause.  I want to make sure I give the Lord the opportunity to speak to me.  If all I do is talk, I can’t listen.  The Bible says, “Be still, and know that I am God:” Psalm 46:10a.  I need to be still and listen to the message that the Lord has for me.
  3. Socially – It has often been said that there is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth.  I want to create meaningful relationships with the people I meet.  I have to be willing to listen twice as much as I talk.  I want to be in a position to help and teach others.  It is true that people don’t care how much I know, until they know how much I care.  If all I do is talk and not listen, it might show how much I care, but only about MYSELF.
Time Management is a big point of conversation these days.  It seems the more technology we have to make our lives “easier”, the more we add to our lives.  The truth is time will not be managed.  I am not able to guide time, tell it where to go, or what to do.  Time is a constant that will not change.  The best I can do is to manage myself and how I use my time.  If I don’t actively choose to “Play the Pauses”, I will rush through life and miss some of the best things in life.
Do you “play the pauses”?  What are some areas in your life where it is important to “play the pauses”?

When Leadership Fails…

by

One of the many facts of life is that at some point a leader in your life will fail. It may be your pastor, father, mother, boss, government official (big shocker there), or anyone else in your life that you look up to. The failures of some leaders will hurt more than others. I have come up with five points to keep in mind, while processing the failure of your leader.

On the surface it may look like they have it all together. Society has always made any show of weakness from a leader as a bad thing. This truth generally leads to leaders being too proud to admit weaknesses. In turn, they do not seek counsel or help to fight the issues that they have. Pride is all too often the cause of a great fall.

I have had several leaders very close to me make very bad decisions. Through these experiences I have tried to keep these points in mind:

  1. Nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. Anyone can make a bad decision. There has been one perfect man on this earth, and that was a couple thousand years ago.
  2. Each individual has their own battles. A big one for me is admitting my faults. I don’t like to be wrong, but when I am . . . I HATE ADMITTING IT. I am trying to grow in this area. If you never admit that you make mistakes, then you can never get better. For others their struggle might be overeating, drugs, alcohol, gambling, the list can go on and on. The fact of the matter is, that everyone has something that Satan dwells on, and constantly attacks. If we are too proud to ask for help and seek guidance, it doesn’t take long for it to take a hold of some or all parts of your life.
  3. A bad decision doesn’t make a bad person. Sometimes good people do bad things. When that does happen, it doesn’t mean that everything that person did was evil. I found myself thinking that even good things that I had experienced with the leader were in question. I rationalized that now I had a reason to question every motive they ever had. Do not give any of your attention to these kind of thought, they only serve to destroy.
  4. This too will pass. It seems impossible to believe, but it is true. Some wounds may take a long time to heal totally, but over time situations that seemed to be earth shattering become manageable.
  5. Learn from your leader’s mistakes. A smart man learns from his own mistakes. A wise man learns from other people’s mistakes. If you can save yourself a lot of heartache, pain, and misery by NOT making poor decisions; you should!

What have you learned from the mistakes made by leaders in your life?

A Testimonial for Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University

by

My wife and I recently finished Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.  I couldn’t possible write everything down that I learned, but here are a few points that I believe will help “change my family tree” as Dave says.
  • People respect what is inspected.
One of the main parts of FPU is having a monthly budget meeting.  It is really easy to lose track of all the places your money goes.  I personally found it very easy to bury my head in the sand when it came to money.  As long as I was not behind on the bills, I didn’t think too much about where our money was going.  However, through the class I have learned that when you take the time to look at the checkbook and itemized list of places where you spend your money over the course of a month, it can be very revealing.  Other than the fact that we LOVE Chipotle, I realized that a few less trips to the grocery, and not going into the gas station (where I end up buying a pop and candy bar), a lot of money can be saved.  I also know now that if I waste money, I will have to answer to my wife at the budget meeting we have every month.
  • The importance of writing things down.
Once you realize the amount of money that can be saved, the next step is writing the detailed plan out.  This allows you to tell your money where it is going rather than someone else telling you where your money goes.  Dave teaches that you should write out a zero budget plan each month.  This basically ensures that all of the money you have each month has a name on it.  If you decide to put a name on it that says: “BLOW MONEY,” that is fine.  The point is that you made a conscious decision to do so.
When you write things down a couple of things happens.
  1. It makes you accountable to yourself and your family.   As in my above example, if I spend money that is not written in the budget, I must explain that decision to my wife at the end of each month.
  2. It makes it official.  Before you write something down, it is just an idea.  It has no backbone.  Once you put it on a piece of paper, it is a written goal.  This makes it much easier to adhere to the plan.
  • The importance of tithes and offerings.

This class, using Biblically based principals reinforced the importance to listen to God’s Word, and to give your tithes and offerings FIRST.  It is all God’s money, and we are called to be good stewards of the money He has given us.  God does not want our ‘leftovers’.  He wants us to give happily our first fruits.

  • Communication is a key ingredient in a successful marriage.

I have heard this one my whole life.  This is common sense.  However, SUCCESS is defined as the uncommon application of common sense.  This class allowed the lines of communication to be opened on a new level first financially.  My wife and I have always “talked” about money, married couples really have no choice but to “talk” about money.  Too often in marriage the talking ends up being louder than “talking” should be.  FPU allowed us to talk about money in a new way, which we hadn’t done in the past.  We talked much more about how we wanted to spend our money in the future.  This included college money for our kids, vacations, retirement, amongst other things.

The open lines of communication only started with finances.  Once you open lines of communication, a whole flood gate of other things open up as well.
  • The importance of staying gazelle intense.

This phrase comes from when a predator is chasing a gazelle in an effort to bring home some dinner. It is important for the gazelle to focus on getting away from that predator. Just like that gazelle it is important for us to stay focused on getting away from debt. If you let your guard down for just an instant it could cost you your financial life.

I am proud to say that we were able to pay off over $5,000 in debt while we were in the class, and continue to work toward our goals. I would recommend this class for everyone, even if you don’t think you have money issues. Having the knowledge that could help you, your family, or your friends will be invaluable in changing your family tree.
Do you have debt that is killing your financial freedom?  Do you have a plan to combat that?

Welcome to my blog…

by

After a couple of failed attempts at blogging in the past, Michael Hyatt’s new book (Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World) has inspired me to make it happen this time.  The blog will be a work in progress.  I haven’t even decided on an overall theme.

What I do know are some of the reasons why I am starting a blog.

  • Organize my thoughts.  I listen to a lot of audiobooks and read several blogs daily.  These inputs give me many ideas.  I need an output for these thoughts.
  • Practice my writing.  I have not written anything of any significance since my one year stint in college.  Quite honestly, that wasn’t stellar.
  • Teach and help others.  I believe that the lessons I have learned over my years can be a help to others.  As a wise man once said, “A smart person learns from his own mistakes, but a truly wise person learns from other people’s mistakes.”
What are some of the reason’s why you blog? or should blog?