Stephen T. Knox's Blog

You are here: Home / Archives for 2013

Archives for 2013

A Testimonial for Financial Peace University

by

Podcast Episode 2

Click to listen:  A Testimonial for Financial Peace University

white_gold_blueback

Truth 1:  People respect what is inspected.

Truth 2:  It is important to write things down.

Truth 3:  Tithes and offerings are the MOST important thing when it comes to money.

Truth 4:  Communication is the key ingredient in a successful marriage.

Truth 5:  It is important to stay GAZELLE intense.

Truth 6:  Fear hates community.

 

You can subscribe to the stephentknox.com blog on the home page.  All you have to do is put your email address into the box on the top right hand portion of the page and click on subscribe.

You can subscribe to the podcast through iTunes by searching “Stephen Knox” or click here.

To register for the upcoming FPU class at the Central Baptist Church click here.

For more information about the upcoming FPU class at the Central Baptist Church go to: www.financialpeacecincinnati.com

 

The Lesson I Learned (Most Recently) From My 8 Year Old Son

by

Click this link to listen here: Podcast episode 1

This is an audio version of my blog today.  It is my first endeavor into podcasting.  I will give it my best go, because like the top of stephentknox.com says, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be.”

Recently my son, Brady, wanted to sing in church.  Now, this was not the first time he has sung in church before, and he has done a great job.  The fearlessness of many children (especially Brady) is awesome.  If you have not watched the videos posted with this, it is time to do so now.  To view the video click on the picture or “Brady Pass It On” under the picture below now.

Brady Pass It On

Now that you have seen the video, you have a pretty good idea of how proud I am of Brady.  I still get teary eyed when I watch it.  There are several lessons that are in that short video.

  1. Perseverance.  It would have been easy for Brady to crawl up in shell and stay seated.  He did not do it.  In fact he had no thought of doing that.  He wanted to go back up there right away.  He never said quit.
  2. Acceptance.  He did not place any blame.  Brady could have very easily blamed the piano player for continuing to play.  He could have blamed his parents for not letting him practice enough.  He could have blamed me for not prepping him for what to do if something went wrong.  He could have blamed everyone present for not ‘helping him out’.  He did not blame anyone.  He knew that he knew the words, he just started singing the wrong verse and couldn’t figure out how to get back on track.  He was not interested in blame, he just wanted to get back up there and do it again.
  3. Fearlessness.  You may not see it in this video, but he was not nervous to stand up and sing in church.  I love the fact that he is willing to put himself out there.  Even after his first attempt, he was still fearless.

Those are all great lessons that I could have learned from this experience, and I did.  However, the lesson I really learned is how to deal with the failure of my son.  I cannot tell you how much I wanted to keep him from going back up there.  I was so worried about him messing up again!  I wanted to protect him from further failure so much, that I almost taught him it was acceptable to quit.

It is our tendency as a parent, or any kind of leader for that matter, to protect those that are in our charge.  We would advise anyone that asked us that after a failure it is important to go back at it.  Get back up on that horse!  In the heat of the moment though, we want to protect them, give them a hug, tell them it’s okay, everyone messes up.  That is in fact what I did.  When he told me that he was going back up there, I told him, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Buddy.”  I told him that he could sing it again another week.  THAT WAS NOT ACCEPTABLE to him though.  He informed me, “I AM going back up there and singing it again.  I already told Bro. Phil I was.”

I reluctantly said, “Uhhh, ok.”  Looking back, I don’t think it would have mattered if I would have continued to say no.  He was determined!  I know now that no matter how badly I want to protect my kids and other people who are in my charge, I have to refrain from trying to protect them from MY fears.  Sometimes it is best to sit back, and let them do what they know is best.

Have you ever had to hold back from over protecting someone you lead?  If so, tell me about it in the comments.

7 Lessons I Learned From a Hunting Dog

by

I recently had the opportunity to go pheasant hunting with several members of my family.  It was not exactly what I expected it to be, but I can honestly say I had a great time!  I will definitely go back.  As in most hunting, there was a lot of time where I was not getting to shoot my shotgun.  During these lulls of excitement I spoke to our guide about his hunting dog.  Here are 7 lessons I was able to from that hunting dog.  His name is Deuce, by the way.

hunting photo

  1. Train Hard.   Our guide, Nate was telling us all about the hard work that Deuce had put in to be able to track a bird in a field.  While it is true that some dogs have the natural ability to track, unless they train and practice on honing this skill it would be totally useless.  If he did not train then they may not stop short of the bird and scare him away before we got into position.  Worse yet, Deuce may have been playing with the bird before we had an opportunity to shoot at it.  (I say shoot at it, because, well… I may not have been a perfect marksman.)  The point is, Deuce did his job very effectively, stopping short and pointing at the bird, so we could get ready.  Just like Deuce, we all have natural abilities to do certain tasks.  I am sure you know at least some of the things that you are  naturally good at.  However, if you do not train and practice getting better at those things, they will not help you when you need them most.
  2. Know Your Goal.  Deuce knew what his goal was.  He knew what the bird he was hunting for smelled like.  Do you know what your goal is?  Do you know what it looks like?  Have you thought about how it will make your life better when you get there?  One of the best things you can do to achieve what you want is to set SMART goals.
  3. Keep Moving Forward.  No matter what was going on, that dog just keep on moving.  He knew that there was no possible way that he would be able to reach his goal, unless he kept on moving.  Sitting on your hands will not take you where you want to go.  There are times where it is necessary to pause, take a look around and make sure you are moving correctly.  Pausing can make it possible to correct course, but if you stay there too long, you will lose the scent.
  4. Test Your Boundaries.  It has been said, that if you have never failed, you have not been trying hard enough.  While on the hunt I asked why Deuce was always zig zagging.  I made the incorrect assumption that the fastest way to the dog’s goal was a straight line.  I was told that the smell that came from the bird was a cone.  The best way for Deuce to narrow down on the bird was to move in a zig zag pattern from the outside of the scent to the outside of the other side of the scent.  As he continued in this fashion the scent would get smaller and smaller, until it was finally resting in one spot in the field, where the bird was hiding.  It reinforced my belief that you have to test the boundaries of your skills in order to make it to your goal.  Sometimes we fail, but that does not mean you are a failure.  Failure is an occurrence, not a person.  You must be willing to fail in order see how good you can be.
  5. Stay Focused.  As we discussed above, sometimes moving in a zig zag pattern is best to get to your goal.  Sometimes it is easy to lose your focus while you are zigging and zagging, not Deuce.  He continued to focus on that scent no matter how wide he stretched.  I realized he was narrowing his focus by his movement, even though it appeared as if he was lost.  No matter what happens, even if a hunter in the field next to you fires his shotgun, you must stay focussed on your goal.
  6. Reach Your Goal.  WooHoo!  Congratulations!  You have reached your goal.  You have done everything you need to get the job done, and now you get to experience the reward.  In Deuces case, assuming that we were able to hit the bird with our shot, he was able to run, grab the bird, and bring it back to us.  That was what he really wanted the whole time.  He got the opportunity to revel in the admiration of his trainer.  You too can reach your goals, by doing the things that I learned from my buddy, Deuce.  It’s not over though…
  7. Start Towards Your New Goal.  If our guide had let Deuce have too much fun with that bird, there would have been nothing left for us to eat that night.  (Pheasant, wrapped in bacon cooked on the grill is quite tasty.)  We are the same way.  If you spend too much time celebrating the victory of a goal achieved, it will eat you up just like a bird a dog has played with for too long.  We have all met the guy that cannot let go of his sports victories in high school.  I personally do not want to be that guy.  (Although, I really enjoyed beating Calvary in soccer my Senior year of high school.)  The only way to avoid that trap, is to set and start moving toward the next target.  Pheasants are not big enough to feed the whole family.

Are you moving towards your goals with ‘Deuce Intensity’?

 

Do You Have Systems like David Lee Roth?

by

The story has been told many times, in many different ways.  I enjoy telling stories, but David Lee Roth can tell it better than I could dream about.  Watch the story, and read on.

I heard about this story growing up, and like many other people thought, “What a jerk”.  I still think it was a overboard to even cause $200 worth of damage.  I absolutely disagree with entertaining ‘temper tantrums’.

If, however, I were to go on with life and forget this story, I would be doing myself a great disservice.

David Lee Roth did not want to be embarrassed.  More importantly he likely did not want to be sued.  He wanted to provide an awesome experience for the crowd that followed his band.  He wanted to make sure that when people left the show he had just put on that they were happy.  He wanted his ‘tribe’ to buy copies of his music, t-shirts, and whatever else he could put his name on.

Like David Lee Roth, I want to do the same for the people I do business with.

David Lee Roth was able to accomplish this by creating a system where he was able to double check the people that were responsible for making his show a success.  As the old saying goes, “What gets measured, gets done.”

I am going to strive to take this example and create systems that ensure I am measuring the things that I want to get done.  I want to make sure that I do not cause myself or the people I work with embarrassment for something that can be avoided by creating a simple system.

If all you had to do is put a line in a contract that says, “NO BROWN M&Ms” to find out if you are being set up for success or failure, wouldn’t you do it?

 

The Romans Road to Salvation

by

Here is a video that I produced for my church, Central Baptist.  I have been blessed to have attended there my entire life.  We are experiencing a lot of positive changes.  I can truly say the Holy Spirit is moving, and would love to have you join us at our next service.  Feel free to leave a comment on this post or email me for further information (stephen@stephentknox.com).

Your Greatest Asset

by

An asset is a useful and desirable thing or quality. Everyone will have a different view on what their greatest asset is.

Personality? Money? Time? Beauty? Health?

out of focus

The answers are endless.  Everyone has things about themselves that they like and value.  I am not going to say that those things are not important.  However, I believe that if you have this one asset, it will enhance all of your other assets.

The asset that I want to focus on in this writing is focus.  When a person does not focus, their world is limited.  They may be great at starting something, but can not finish.  If you do not finish things, what good are they?

I recently had a forced home remodel project.  I say forced, because I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT!  Unfortunately, there was water leaking, and unless I wanted a whole lot of other problems, I had to do something.  So, I started.  Slowly.  First, I just ripped out the tile flooring, but under that tile, was more tile.  After I got done to the wood subfloor, I realized that particle board had been used, and it was destroyed.  So I went a little deeper.  Before you know it, all that was left in my little bathroom was drywall and subfloor.  After a week or so off, I began to rebuild.  Let me tell you this, the bathroom looks 100% better now!  The only issues are:  1)the water supply line to the toilet was too short, so it is not getting any water and 2) the sink drain is not attached to the wall drain, so I am not able turn on the sink.

I have definitely lacked focus on the finishing of this project.  So what good is my bathroom?  Much to the disappointment of my wife, it is NO GOOD.

Here are a couple of ways to help the focus in your life:

  • Set a timetable for completion.  If there were out of town guests coming into town that needed to use that restroom last week, I can guarantee I would have finished that project.  If I would have had a date set to make sure that I finished by a certain day, I would have found the focus to get the job done.  So, by next Monday, I will have the bathroom functional!
  • Set a date and time to do the work.  In my defense, I did set one day aside to work on the project.  I did know that I would not have enough time in that day, so I should have set at least one other day.  So, this Sunday afternoon, I will work on the bathroom!

It is amazing how much more beautiful our world can be, with a little focus.

in focus

Imitating our Leaders

by

Just like an oak tree will grow from another oak tree, so will we imitate the behaviors of our leaders.  That will include the bad points as well as the good points.  As a leader, I have to be intentional about how I lead others.  I need to make sure that I concentrate on doing things the right way, so that the people I lead will follow suit.

There are a lot of different kinds of leadership styles.  Some leaders are quiet, others are very vocal.  Some leaders listen to the people they are leading, while others do not think they need input.  All of the different methods come down to two paths:  Effective Leadership and Non-Effective Leadership.  I want to strive to be the effective leader.

There is another side to the coin as well.  Leaders, no matter how effective they are, are human.  They make mistakes.  They do things that they wish they had not done.  As a person being led, I too need to be intentional in the way I do things.  When a leader of mine makes mistakes, it is my responsibility to learn from their mistakes.  I do not want to use the excuse that I was just acting like my leader does.  I have to be separate the good habits and bad habits of my leaders.  I need to take the bad habits of those that lead me and change them into good habits for the people who I lead.  It is definitely not the easiest thing to do, but it is essential in the growth of my leadership abilities.

 

What are some bad habits of a leader you follow that you have been able to change into good habits for the people who follow you?

Why You Should Not Be Afraid of Failure

by

How does a high jumper know how high he can jump?  He keeps moving the bar up until he knocks it down.  Knocking that bar down is technically a failure.  He did not succeed in the goal he had of clearing that bar.

high jump

I have two boys.  They are 7 and 5.  I love them dearly, but they are not great basketball players.  My oldest, Brady (check out his website here) looks so awkward when he shoots it makes me laugh every time!  Now, I know he still have a lot to learn, but could I save him a lot of time and energy by telling him to stop playing now?  I hope you are thinking right about now that the logic I just typed is crazy.  Of course it is crazy.  You would never tell a child anything other than, “Keep practicing, you’ll get better!”

Why are you any different?  It is time to take some of your own advise.  Realize that the best were not the best when they started.  They kept practicing.  They got better everyday.  You will too.  There is nothing to fear in failure.  We have all been there, and hopefully will keep going there.  You will never know how great you can be until you raise that bar higher.

One way I try to ignore the fear of failure is to think what the worst case scenario would be.  Vocalize what the worst case is if you failed at what you are thinking about doing.  Will your family start hating you?  Will God disown you and turn His back on you?  Will you physically die?  The answer to all of those questions is most certainly no.  So, stop being afraid of a potential failure and ship it.

If you have never failed, you have never tried hard enough. (Tweet This)

What is something that you have failed at, that made you better?

The Lie of Perfection

by

I am not perfect.  If you ask my wife, I may act like it sometimes.  In fact, even though I know it is absurd, I may think it sometimes.

welcome to perfection

The problem with believing the lie of perfection is that it breeds procrastination.  It causes me to delay putting the work out there that I know I need to be putting out there.  Those delays often turn into never shipping the work at all.

Here are a few points I remember when I am trying to ignore the lie of perfection:

  1. Nobody is perfect.  Nobody who has ever been on this earth (besides Jesus Himself) is perfect.  There is no reason to try to reach utter perfection because it is a destination that will not be reached.  I know some people will say that this is a dangerous mind-set to have, and it may not work for you.  For me, however, I find it a necessary ingredient to ship my work.
  2. The goal is not finished.  The other end of the perfect line is finished.  I have to be careful of just pushing so hard that all I want to do is get finished.  Pushing just to get finished makes me get sloppy.  I do not want to ship slop.
  3. Awesome is where I need to be.  Awesome is the point of the line where I strive to be.  I know that it not perfect, but I also realize it is not just finished.  It is awesome.  It is something that can be appreciated by the people I am shipping my work to.  It informs, inspires, and adds insight.  It is the best that I have, but it is not bogged down by trying to reach perfection.
  4. Do NOT over think, ship.  With everything above in mind I remind myself to not over think the revisions.  There are times when I can spend so much time tweaking that I end up spinning my wheels only to come back to the original.  When I find myself having to search for things to change, I just ship it.  There are very few things in this world that can not be touched up after shipping.  Chances are you will find out that the work you have already done is exactly what your audience is looking for.

Do not believe the lie of perfection.  Doors that are open have a lot more people walk through them than doors that are locked.

What does the lie of perfection do to you?